So my in-laws came into down last night, and insisted on taking Monkeyhead shopping. Needless to say 8 hours after of work and flying 1000 miles to get home, away we went to the home of saggy pants and 80’s resurgence, the mall. The mall today specializes in remnants of my childhood, Day-glow (neon) clothing.
Are you kidding me? man i thought we put that stuff in a pod with our parachute pants and launched it into outer space in hopes of saving Los Angeles from an alien invasion on the future. I digress.
I love my in-laws, they are a lot like me, they don’t go shopping, they go buying; i want this, i found this, i buy this, pull your pants up and get out of my way I’m leaving now.
We went to Justice…for those of you lucky enough to not have a girl-child in your house, you will never know the joy of neon colored clothing, which looks as if it were attacked by a monkey with a Bedazzler, being sold to you by a failed member of the mouseketeer club, all with Brittany swift, or Lady Booboo blasting at 11 through the store speakers. Side note, the volume is so loud so your children won’t hear you say “this &*% cost how *&*()#$%# much??”
SO the folks drove here from up north, then we drove another 45 minutes to the mall and were tired, so i took them out to sit in a chair while Monkeyhead and Legend shopped with grandpa, who promptly came out to tell on Legend because she told Monkeyhead no on something, but only after giving his credit card to Monkeyhead and telling Annette behind the register that she (Monkeyhead) could buy whatever she wanted and was authorized to use his card…wth? i couldn’t get a quarter from my grandfather for pinball, she got a platinum card..
Grandma marched in, sent Legend out to me, and proceeded to spend 3 bills on clothes. Clothes which Monkeyhead will outgrow in a day, but everyone was happy, well not Legend, but when Legend’s momma is paying the bills and making the rules…
As much as we change and grow to become in charge of our lives and become productive adults,all while looking back fondly on our youth and the fashion mistakes which were our benchmark; Some things stay the same, mom will always win, bad fashion will always come back, and i will always look good in nylon pants..