So many times in our lives we feel as if we aren’t good enough, and that is fine. I believe it pushes us to try harder, to dig deeper, to fight longer and set bigger goals. Unfortunately what we get hung on is, the fact they we didn’t reach those goals. Setting the goal is easy, like getting all A’s on our next report card, but then where is the plan to earn those A’s? The world could care less about your plans, God and Buddha, didn’t ask before they set your world in motion, they put you here to realize a few things. At this moment, right now you are where you are supposed to be, the task you completed today and the tasks you didn’t complete today were exactly done the way they were supposed to. The only way it could have been better was if someone else did them perfectly to your specifications, or that you built a solid enough plan, and followed to get everything done that this day had deemed important.
I watched Legend find she wasn’t perfect for the first time ever in her life last week. I’m sure it was the first time because I recognized the lost look in her eyes, the fact that at that moment she seemed shorter than her normal “can’t meet the clown’s arm” height, and the sound of despair coming haltingly from her lips. I love her, how do you help someone when they found out they are normal? that as smart as we strive to be, the books we read, the moral compass we adjust to our perfection throughout our lives, sometimes regardless of these efforts we are still imperfect humans despite our best efforts.
Years of experience in any job, where you have the chance to become the old man, makes you appear to others as if you’ve got it all together. The truth is you have simply survived long enough to keep a mental catalog of all of your life and job “not-to-do” list. So I may look like I’m a mind reader, the truth is, 20 years ago I tried the same dumb crap, with the same foreseeable results and am simply still around to save others from themselves. This fact of my life gives me a pleasurable pause and hope. The hope is that in 20 more years of marriage, maybe I’ll have the right answers, other than “yes dear” the hope that maybe I won’t break my children and I will be a good dad, the hope that as this chapter of my life grows closer to ending, graduation is looming closer in the future, maybe there is hope for all of us.
Today I went for a bike ride, just a touch over 20 miles, the weather was awesome, 70 degrees, a little breeze little traffic (rural Tennessee isn’t to bicycle friendly) and I just rode. As I rode past some stables today I saw very few people out and about; One in particular caught my eye. A woman about my age, close to my height and weight jogging, there was no joy, just determination, as I rode up to her, I told her ” You are AWESOME!! Keep it up!” that true joy that came across her face was worth the pain I feel sitting here.
I have an idea, it has nothing to do with the shut down, the war, crappy school lunch programs, or gas prices, but something I now will work. Lets put in our time, work hard, lift others up like Haley Joel did in Pay it forward, and see if we can’t make our world a better place from the inside out, just like I know I am trying every day and I hope you are too.